do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Randomize
