i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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