OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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