Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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