My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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