im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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