Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
