I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
