i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
and you fell through a lawn chair
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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