You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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