If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
