We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
