Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize