Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
