god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
