so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
