my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
