I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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