I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize