Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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