It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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