Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
