"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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