I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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