Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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