wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
