I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
