How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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