He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
