i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
