Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
