somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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