Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
