Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He did a backflip because drugs
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