Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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