I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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