having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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