No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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