first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
