Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
