obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
