I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
