I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
