You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
