my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
