Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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