sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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