I love black thongs
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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