im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
