is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
