Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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