I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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