We're like a lot better than the average bears
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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