I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
