doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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