I wish I only lived at night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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