I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
