I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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