He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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