couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
