So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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