She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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