dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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