I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize