I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
