She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
