Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
