i already hear my dad disowning me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
we should paint friendship bongs
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
