you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
