Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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