I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
