the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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