I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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